Voices in My Head
by SpookyClaire
Summary: Dealing with what happened over the past two years, the Winchesters try to figure out: Why Dean? And more problems arise when Dean starts to develop ‘powers’ of his own. Sequel to Darkness Falls. Final chapter posted! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1: Voices in My Head

Voices in My Head

Sequel to 'Darkness Falls'

**Summary**: Dealing with what happened over the past two years, the Winchesters try to figure out: Why Dean? And more problems arise when Dean starts to develop 'powers' of his own. (Sequel to Darkness Falls)

Hello my lovelies!! How have ya'll been? See Lilith, I'm keeping up my end of the deal! You know my excuse XD

Ok, so Anyway. Here's the sequel, I hope you all like it! Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving (I'm thankful for this long weekend!) !!

**Chapter 1**

--

"Oh-my-god!" Dean cried out agitatedly "For the millionth time, I'm telling you I don't remember!" Dean could feel all the happy he'd been feeling lately start to disappear. After their week of relaxation time, the Winchesters were back on the road. Dean loved it all. Except for one thing: The constant badgering of his family. At least twice a day they asked him if he remembered anything and it was _really_ starting to bug him.

Mary got a defeated look on her face, and John just looked angry. They'd been trying to think of why the Demon had taken Dean, hoping Dean remembered something so they could use it against the Demon. But so far…no dice.

"What about the nightmares?" Sam suddenly asked, his voice sounded as if he'd just found the cure for cancer

"Nightmares?" Mary asked

"Why didn't you tell us about these nightmares, Dean?" John asked

Dean let out a load growl/groan and threw his body back on the bed

"Jesus fucking Christ!" He cried out, annoyed. He sent Sam a death glare and then turned to his parent's expectant looking faces. He let out another annoyed sigh "Ok, fine. So I may have been having some dreams every once in a while.

"Pfft, try every other night." Sam mumbled. Dean spun around and gave Sam a 'When mom and dad leave I'm going to fucking beat you shitless' before turning back to his parents.

"So…yea…they're nothing special. Usually just me sitting in a dark room, usually scared—I dunno why I was. Then the door will open, and poof, I'm awake."

John and Mary sighed again, looking defeated on their hope of finding some sort of clue as to why the Demon took Dean.

"Why about the nights you walk up gasping or almost-screaming?" Sam cut in

"Ok, that's it! You're fucking dead!" Dean said angirly, getting up to tackle Sam, but John quickly pushed Dean back onto his bed.

"Tell us about the bad ones." John said, it wasn't a request. Ugh, Sargent John at it again.

Dean grunted angirly and ran his hands over his face "Sometimes it will be them, I dunno, just doing stuff. I'll be tied down, and just feel cold. That's the whole dream some times." He grunted again and said "And other times it's just the demon walking up to me and smiling. They're _nothing_." He said angirly. He was honestly telling the truth. He would feel scared in the dream and wake up feeling scared. He didn't know _why_. And it was starting to annoy him that his family wasn't believing him.

"_Ugh, Dean…you're so vulnerable. Why won't you just tell us?_" Dean heard Sam's voice say.

"Oh God, Sam! Will you just stuff it??! I'm _fine_! And I'm telling the fucking truth!! I-DON'T-REMEMBER! So just fucking shut up!" Sam has a confused look on his face that very basically said 'Huh?' Dean spun around to see John and Mary looking utterly confused too. "What??!" He cried annoyed

"Sam didn't say anything, Dean." John said, giving him a weird look.

"Yes he did! He said 'Oh Dean, you're so vulnerable!'" Dean said in a mocking nasally voice. Sam looked shocked and confused and John and Mary looked completely lost. Dean let out and annoyed yell and grunted "I'm going for a walk." Before slamming the door.

As Dean walked outside almost immediately a thousand voices filled the air.

"_Oh god, what if Janice finds out I cheated?"_

"_Did I buy eggs yesterday? Should I buy some just incase…?" _

"_Ugh! Where's dad?? He was supposed to pick me up an hour ago!" _

"_Dude…I had way to much to drink last night…" _

"_Crap, I'm so lost. Where'd the intersection go?" _

"_How the hell did he know what I was thinking?" _That voice was familiar.

He felt hands on his shoulders, and at contact he felt his legs buckle. He began to spiral to the ground, but strong arms caught him.

"Dean??" He heard a voice, louder than the rest. It was Sammy's.

'_Sammy?? What's going on?? Everything's so loud…' _

He could feel himself being lead somewhere, where he didn't know. All the voices began to dim and then with the sound of a door shutting they all disappeared. Dean realized then that he was sitting down. He looked up to see his family staring at him.

"_What the hell just happened? What's going on with him??"_

"_Oh, god! What's wrong with my baby?? Why can't he just be left alone??!"_

"_Dean, what's going on with you? God! Why can't that demon just leave you the fuck alone?!"_

"God, stop talking at once!" Dean groaned, falling back onto the bed, covering his ears. Why were they all doing this? Why were they all talking so loud and at once? Ugh…his head hurt. He just wanted to sleep…

Dean felt a pair of hands—Sam's hands—take hold of his and remove them from his ears. "Dean." He heard his brother say forcefully, his voice louder than the others. It was strange…he could hear Sam's voice twice as if two different Sams were talking at once. If his head didn't feel like it was about to explode he would be trying to figure out that little fucking fact. "Dean, we're not saying anything."

"_What is going on with you Dean??" _

'Yes, you are.' He thought to himself. Dean looked up at Sam's worried and confused face. He blinked twice and then his world went black.

--

Greetings readers! I love you all so much I had to use my dad's comp in his office just to update cuz mine is being a crap face .

So here's the new one! Slow start, si si, but it gets better! (grins)

Later lovelies!

-claire


	2. Chapter 2: The Grief Never Ends

**Chapter 2**

I'm am _sooooooo_ sorry. Literally for the past month and a half it has been project after test after quiz, repeat cycle. It seemed like all the teachers decided to play 'let's throw everything we've got at them!' and all at once threw continuous tests and projects and pop quizzes at us. Not to mention the non-stop orchestra practices, and then the 2 performances too. And then every Tuesday and Thursday, from three to six I was at bowling competitions, which by the time I got home it was almost 7 (because of the damn thruway) I had to study and do my HW. Oh, yea! All of this doesn't even include the normal truckload of homework we get!

_Jesus_. They said that after midterms it shouldn't be as bad. I think they're lying through their asses.

Anyway, I it seems like my explanations are annual, sorry! So here's chapter 2!  
Oh, and as always! Thanks to my amazing reviewers! And of course, big thanks to you, Lilith—I know taking so long has annoyed you a lot! So this chapter is for you!

**NOTE: this is Dean torture, NOT Sam torture. Don't worry, I know some of you hate it when its DT, then converted to ST somehow…don't worry. I _hate_ that too. So it's not gonna happen here. You may think it is with somethings said, later, but it is NOT. Ok? NOT!**

--

Dean awoke to his head feeling really heavy. Like someone had replaced his brain with a 200-pound bowling ball. He let out a groan and let his head turn from side to side, trying to gain back some control.

"Hey, Dean?" came Sam's voice from next to him. His mind automatically braced itself for the mental assault of too many voices again…but nothing happened. He opened his eye slits, thankful that Sam only had the kitchen light behind them on. At this discovery he opened his eyes all the way. He looked up at his baby brother.

"Mmmhi." Dean mumbled out, trying to sit up. Sam was immediately at his aid. Unable to stop Sam, he waited until he was sitting up straight to push him away.

"Mom and dad went back to their room at about 12 AM when you didn't wake up yet. I told them I'd call them as soon as you woke up…" Sam said as he sat on the edge of his own bed. Dean looked at Sam, an almost pleading look in his eye. "…they can wait another hour." Dean gave Sam a thankful look and leaded back against the headboard. "So…Dean….um…"

"What the fuck happened, right?"

"Basically."

"Sam…I—have no fucking idea. I mean, one minute I'm walking out the door and the next I falling over, a million voices screaming at me."

Sam sat up straight "Screaming at you?"  
"Well…not _screaming_. It was just…_loud_. I mean…I just dunno. Didn't you hear it?" Sam shook his head "And then when you took me back inside…I could hear two of your voices."

Sam froze "_What_?"

"Well…I don't exactly remember what you were saying-"

"You had been saying we were all talking at once. I was telling you non of us were saying anything."

"—yea, that was it. But your other voice…it was saying something girly." Dean got a ghost of a grin on his face and Sam genuinely smiled. But they bother sobered up immediately.

"Was it saying something like 'Dean, what's going on?' Something along those lines?"

"Yea! Like, almost exactly that."

Sam stared at Dean for a moment. "That's what I was thinking at the time."

Dean's head shot up. "Wait! Are you saying I read your fucking mind??"

"Well, that would seem-"

"No! No fucking way! You're the one with the freaky shinning shit, not me!" Dean cried, standing up, ignoring his pounding headache.

They were both dead silent for a moment "Well, Dean…before you ran out the door, you told mom and dad I'd said something. You mocked how I said you were vulnerable, and then mom and dad looked like they thought you were insane, remember?"

"Yea, I remember that."

"That had been my exact thought right before you yelled at me."

Dean fell back onto the bed, his sitting position mirroring Sam across from him. He ran his hand over his face "Holy fucking shit."

Sam let out a half laugh, half scoff "Yea." Sam paused "Then why isn't it working now?"

Dean shrugged, unknowing, and stared at his hands for a moment, before looking back up at Sam. "Think that's why the demon took me?" he said, coming as close to willingly talking about his abduction as ever.

Sam let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. "Probably…but then why-"

"-didn't he take you too?" Dean finished for him. "Yea…fuck." Dean fell back to a lying position on the bed, his feet still touching the floor.

The two brothers jumped at knock on the door. "Sam? Dean? We heard yelling." Came Mary's voice through the door. Sam stood and opened the door for them, Dean sat up.

"We told you to call us as soon as he woke up, Sam." John berated. Sam let out a sigh, and looked to Dean, who nodded.  
Time to tell them everything.

--

Dean's eyes shot open. A million different images still in his head. He knew that they were John, Mary and Sam's dreams by the feeling he got from each of them. It was strange, but he just _knew_ it was them and their dreams. He recognized the feel, without every having felt it before. _This is fucking weird. _Dean thought to himself, why did he have to see their dreams too? _Now I know how you feel, freak_. Dean thought with a soft smile as he looked at his still sleeping baby brother.

_Look at him the way he is now, boy. He won't look so unharmed for long. _

Dean stopped and clutched his head as a booming voice filled his head.

'_What the fuck do you want?_' Dean verbally spat.

_To hurt your family. _The demon giggled

'_You're a fucked up fucking bastard._'

_Now, now. Language. _

'_Fuck you, fucker._' Now Dean was just toying with him.

_Play games all you want Dean…but I know where you are. I'm going to come. I slit your mother's throat… _

'_Stop it.'_

…_stab your father's heart…_

'_Fucking stop!'_

…_and then Sammy…sweet, innocent Sammy. I'm going to fuck him up so bad…and I'm going to make you watch. _Dean could practically feel the demon's breath on his ear, as if he were right there, whispering to him.

'_You fucking stay the fuck away from them!' _Dean screamed in his mind.

He heard a laugh, like a roll of thunder in his head, and the demon was gone. Dean panted from fear and pain for a moment and then, literally, sprung into action.

"Sam!" He shook Sam harshly, before running to his duffel and shoving everything in haphazardly.

"Dean what the fu-"

"Get up!" Dean cried, dropping his stuffed and zipped bag to the floor "Pack your shit, I'll go get mom and dad." Sam didn't move, still looking confused. As Dean reached the door he looked back at Sam "Come on! We have to get out of here, _now!_"

--

Was it worth the wait? I hope so! Sorry again, please review…you can yell at me in them if you want.

Later babes!

-claire


	3. Chapter 3: Diners and BlackOuts

Chapter 3 

Well! Me and my sis, aka Lumpy, were playing Disney trivia and laughing our asses off for an hour, then we watched '101 Dalmatians' and _then_ we playing Mario games and listened to the Spice Girls. Now, here I am, it's 1:53 AM and I'm not the least bit tired! Hmm…couldn't have been all that chocolate—what? No…

So, lad-ys! Here's chapter 3!!

**(and, YES! I plan on keeping my promise about the DT-ST thing I mentioned last chappie, I hate being tricked too! (smiles))**

Oh, and Merry Christmas, if I didn't say that last time! (grins)  
**Note**: Also, the **-** mean that the 3rd person insight is changing. I think I've got it right…I've always hated grammar…(And as usual the -- means a change in scene)

--

Dean was driving more erratic than usual, which was surprising to Sam. Dean usually was as careful as possible with his 'baby.' Sam looked at the clock, it'd been an hour since they'd rushed out of their motel room, throwing cash at the boy at the front desk and speeding away, being rushed by Dean the whole way. Now they were driving to only God knew where. Sam opened his mouth to say something to Dean…but shut it again. What could he say? 'Hey Dean, what the hell is wrong with you? Oh, besides the fact we just found out you can fucking _read minds_.' Yup…that would go over _great_. 

But Sam didn't have to say anything. Dean harshly shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He hit speed dial 2 (Sam being 1, of course) and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Dad? Yea—no, da—_look_, we just passed a sign for a town up ahead, ya' see it? Pull up to the first diner you see there and I'll explain. Dad, I—" Dean pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it angirly, Sam could hear their father's voice still barking on the other line as Dean held it out. Dean harshly snapped it shut. Sam's eyes widened in shock. Had _Dean_ just _hung up_ on their father??

Yup, Dean was _definitely_ tweaked.

"Dean-?" Sam started, but the phone rang again, Dean just turned the sound off and turned and gave Sam a week grin "I'm pro'lly gonna be dead when we see him, eh?"

Sam smiled weakly at Dean, humoring him. After all, he _did_ say he was gonna explain, didn't he?

A moment later they had entered the small town, which probably wasn't on any map, and almost immediately they saw a small diner that was called 'Aunt Em's Cooking.' Sam heard Dean mutter "We ain't in Kansas anymore, Toto." He would have burst out laughing if he didn't feel like exploding from anticipation.

They pulled into park and John and Mary were already getting out of the truck, Mary looked worried and John looked downright pissed.

"Say something nice at my funeral, Sam." Dean said, before opening his door and getting out.

"Dean!" John barked as Sam quickly got out of the car and shut the 1967's door. "What the hell was that?? You _do not_ hang up on me-!"

"John!" Mary said, not wanting to cause a scene. It was about 6:30 AM, and the people of the town were probably only just waking up. She didn't want their wake up call to be her husband.

"Dad, he said he would explain." Sam cut in, stepping between John and Dean, feeling _he_ needed to protect Dean now. He'd been feeling that way a lot, ever since they got Dean back.

John looked from Dean, to Sam, to Mary, then back to Dean. He grunted and nodded, stomping towards the just-opened diner. Mary gave her boys the 'What can you do? He's your father.' look—that had been used so many times when they were children—and gestured for them to follow John.

-

The four seated themselves in a booth by the window, Dean and John sitting on the outside, as always. A waitress with a nametag that read 'Flo' walked over and poured them all some coffee after a while and said she'd be back to take their orders in a bit,

Dean was starting to get a headache. There was this almost…buzzing sound in the back of his mind, but he pushed it aside and went on to explain to his family about hearing the voice, and what it said. They had asked him questions, all of which he had no answer to. But when John asked what had woken him up, Dean was reluctant to tell them. He didn't _want_ this. He just wanted to be normal—well, his _usual_ self.

"I kinda had a…weird…dream."

"Weird?"

"_Our_ kinda weird?"

Dean sighed "Yea." The buzzing was getting louder. He pushed it aside when he realized he'd been asked a question.

"Huh?"

"I said, what was it about?" John asked exasperatedly

"Um—well," Dean swallowed. More people were starting to enter the restaurant. 'Hey Flo, hey Em!' they greeted as they walked in. As they walked in the buzzing grew louder. It wasn't the same as the first time. The first time it had been like voices were screaming in his head, but this time it was like they were all giving off this…signal. Like they were all notches in the volume meter in Dean's head. But very faintly, Dean was sure, he could hear faint voices behind the buzz. Like he was listening to someone talk on the phone, but static was interfering, and it just kept getting louder.

All Dean wanted to do was hang up.

-

"Dean, you ok?" Sam asked his brother. But Dean didn't respond.

Dean had been getting paler and paler as their conversation had gone on. Now Dean was becoming more and more detached, pressing his hand to his temples.

Sam looked to his parents "I'll just…take him outside for some fresh-air." He quickly, taking Dean by the shoulders, pushed his older brother out the door, ignoring the strange looks from Flo, Em and all the other townies.

Once outside Sam led Dean to the Impala and sat him on the hood. People walking by stared, but Sam ignored them, putting all his attention on Dean. He took his big brother by the shoulders and bent over to be at eye level with Dean. But his eyes were screwed shut, both hands pressed to his temples. He was paler than he had been in the diner, had Sam just made it worse by bringing him outside?

"Dean? Dean, can you look at me?"

But Dean didn't get the chance to answer, as his arms went slack and he fell forward into the arms of his baby brother.

--

So, my pretties, what did you think? It's quarter to 3 here…ah how I LOVE Christmas vacation! And my family and I (not including my oldest sister) are going to the planetarium tomorrow to watch this thing on aliens, SWEET! And it's a 2 hour drive too…I love car rides and all that. Tomorrow's gonna be fun, and I'm starting to get a bit tired…so goodnight lovers!

Oh, and don't forget to review!!

-claire

**PS**: Here's a little **preview for next chappie**:

_Dean sighed and sat down on the shitty motel bed, running his hands through his hair. He looked up at his baby brother "Can't they just understand…I—" Dean paused, Sam could see the tears he was trying to hide "I don't want to remember, Sam." He whispered._


	4. Chapter 4: The Nightmare Comes to Light

Voices in My Head

Chapter 4

**This chapter is a little crappy**. Writers block is a bitch. Anyway, so sorry for the long wait! DAMN MIDTERMS!

But I went to the father/daughter dance w/my daddy last night…it was SO MUCH FUN! My dad's 63 and was dancing like a 20 year old, it was SOO much fun!!! Haha! We made FIFTH place out of the whole freshman class in a freshman dance competition! Hahaha, yay!

Ok, enough of my babbling! ON TO THE STORY!!

PS: Is anyone else DYING from the last ep?!?!?!?! DUDES! I'm so freaking excited!!! I keep playing Renegade (the song at the end of the ep, it's by Styx) 'cause I'm so damn excited!!

* * *

Dean felt like he was floating, it was nice kind of. It felt like he was flying in the endless black. But then, he went crashing to the ground and slamed head first into reality. He remembered passing out in front of the restaurant, woo, that must have been hard for Sam to get him back into the car. Ha, that must have looked funny.

Dean decided he should probably open his eyes, but they didn't seem to agree. So he lay still, trying to figure out where he was, but as all his senses started to take action he recognized the coffee and gunpowder sent of his impala. But it was completely silent, was Sam and his parents still in the restaurant?

Oh that's nice. 'Hey, Dean passed out. What should we do?' 'Just shove him in the backseat and let's finish our breakfast.' Dean grinned slightly to himself at his own stupidity.

_Ok, time to get serious. _He thought to himself. _First off, where the hell is Sam and them?_ Dean wasn't entirely sure what he was doing himself, but he lay there, not moving, just concentrating. He lay there for God knows how long before he could hear voices, at first he thought it was Sam and John and Mary coming back to the car, but he only heard the voices, nothing else. Not the sound of feet coming closer, not the sound of car doors opening, just…voices.

"_No, Dad, why don't you listen?? Something is OBIVOUSLY wrong! He passed out _twice_! Do you even care??" _

"_How can you even ask me that, Sam??! He's my SON!" _

"_More like your soldier, all you want from him is answers for your stupid fight!"_

"_This isn't just _my_ fight, Sam!! It's _our_ fight!" _

"_Boys, please!" _

"_That's what you like to think, isn't it? That a load of bullshit and you know it, Dad!" _

"_Don't you sass me, boy!"_

"_Or what, you'll hit me?" _

"_Boys! Stop it!" _

"_He's hurting dad! He's got a fucking power for christsake! He was fucking TORTURED for nearly a year! And all you ask him to do is remember it, when anyone in that situation would just want to forget!" _

"_God damn it, Stop both of you! Right fucking now!!"_

Dean let his mind close and fought back the headache coming on. Could he really control this? He wasn't so sure. This was all just to weird, even for him.

Christ, why did this have to be happening? Why couldn't they're family just be a normal, loving, supernatural-powerless, live-in-the-same-place-for-more-than-a-week family? Oh, that's right. They're the Winchesters.

Dean could hear footsteps coming closer the car, and as the car door opened he let the blackness over-take him.

--

"Dean."

_Five more minutes._

"Dean."

_Stop shaking me!_

"Dean!"

_Go away Sammy! I don't care if it's Christmas._

"Wake up!" Dean moaned and let his head fall from side to side. "Good, open your eyes, Dean."

_Give me a fucking second, Sam!_

Dean moaned and did his best to break his eyelids apart. He opened them slits to look up at Sam, who was leaning over him, halfway in the car.

_We're still in the car?_

"Dean, how ya feelin'?"

"Like I got him by a semi." Dean croaked out. He started to sit up and immediately regretted it, pressing his right hand to his forehead, the left holding him up.

"We just pulled into a motel, you planning on coming inside, or you wanna sleep out here?" Dean stared at him blankly for a moment, Sam just shook his head "C'mon. I already brought our shit inside, mom and dad ran out to get some food." Dean nodded and pushed Sam's hands away as they went to help him.

Once inside the motel room Dean went first for the bathroom, not saying a word to Sam. He turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up. He turned and looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. _God, do I really look that bad?_ His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a while. His longish hair was sticking in different directions. He still had yet to cut it. He wouldn't admit it to Sam, but he kinda liked having longer hair. He shook his head and turned to the now steaming shower and hopped in.

--

Sam sat at the small table in the motel room, glancing over at Dean every few minutes. His big brother sat on his motel bed, a few papers of past information of the demon lying in his hands, but he wasn't reading them. His eyes were slightly glazed over, staring into space. Sam was worried about him, he hadn't said much since the diner that morning. _Had that really only been this morning?_

"Dean?"

Dean took a moment to respond, but his eyes focused and he turned to Sam "Hmm?"

"Are you ok?"

Dean blinked at Sam for a moment, as if deep in thought. He sighed and placed the papers aside, moving so he was now sitting on the edge of the bed. "You were right, Sam." He said quietly.

"What?"

"You were right." He said louder, looking up at Sam. "I don't want to remember." Sam paused for a second, a confused look on his face, and then realization hit. Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up at his baby brother "Can't they just understand…I—" Dean paused, Sam could see the tears he was trying to hide "I don't want to remember, Sam." He whispered.

Sam stood and walked across the room, sitting on the edge of his bed so he was across from his brother. "Dean…I…" He was at a true loss for words.

"Don't. Don't say anything." Dean said "Just let me…" Dean paused and suddenly roughly stood. "Damnit, Sam!" Sam jumped at the sudden burst of energy "Dad can be such a fucking asshole!" Sam's eyes widened at Dean's words. "I mean you're the only one who gets it." Dean began to pace, tears in his eyes "All he wants is answers and he doesn't care what it does to…" Dean paused in his words again, still pacing. "I can't do this, Sam." He said quietly, stopping his pace. "I can't. I…I just give up."

Sam stared at Dean for a moment. "You can't give up, Dean." Sam said earnestly

"Puh, yea, easy for you to say."

"No, Dean. If you give up the demon wins and what happened to you, what happened to the other people there, it won't even matter anymore." Sam watched as his older brother crumbled before him. Tears began to spill from Dean's eyes, he spun around hiding them and trying to wipe them away. Sam stood and walked next to his brother. He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, but Dean jerked away. "Dean-"

"I keep having this one dream." Dean said so quietly that Sam almost didn't catch it.

"What?"

"I keep having this one dream. I—I'm _there_ again and the demon…he'd had a harsh session with me. And I…" Dean trailed off for a moment "And I was hurt pretty bad." He turned his head and stared out the window "And this one girl, Liz…she…she reminded me so much of someone, but now I know…she reminded me of mom…" Dean paused again, taking a deep breath "She…she decided to try to patch me up so I wouldn't get sick or hurt worse and…" he held back a hiccup "and the demon didn't like that very much. He…" Dean stopped unable to go on, the tears now freely flowing down his face, unable to be stopped.

"What did he do?" Sam asked gently, and his worry was fueled more when Dean didn't make a snide remark, but only went on.

"He…he took Liz into _The Room_…and…he—he raped her Sam." Dean hiccupped again, tears flowing, Sam suppressed his gasp "And he made me watch." Dean shook his head and let himself fall onto his bed "She…she didn't make it through the night. He'd been so rough…" Dean bit back another sob, "She was raped and killed because she wanted me to feel a little bit better. What happened to her…it's all my fault and I couldn't do anything…" Dean let his head fall into his hands to hide his unstoppable tears.

Sam stood frozen, he's known it was bad down there, but that was so much worse then he had even thought of. He shakily sat down next to Dean, putting his arm around his brother. He was slightly surprised when Dean didn't pull away but sat there and cried.

After a moment Dean pulled away from Sam and quickly wiped off his face. "I feel so fucking stupid." He whispered

"Dean, everyone's allowed to cry once in a while."

"Yea, but not me." Dean said, wiping his tears and snot off on his sleeve. Sam bit his lip. He hated how Dean always did this to himself, making himself live up to this impossible standard. Sam opened his mouth to say something but Dean shook his head and said "I think I'm gonna try to get some sleep, Sam. I'm wiped." Sam nodded stupidly and stood, watching Dean climb into bed and turn with his back to Sam and his face to the door.

Sam let out a shaky sigh and walked back over to the table. He sat there for a moment, staring blankly at his computer screen, before he began to silently cry.

_How can I help him? He's so broken and won't let anyone even try to fix him…_

* * *

Well, what didja think? I dunno, I'm not too happy with this chapter but I really didn't wanna leave you guys hanging any longer. You can flame if you feel like it, just leave me something.

Later lovelies!

-claire


	5. Chapter 5: Dean's Dream

**Voices in My Head**

**Chapter 5: **Dean's Dream

**This one's a shorty**. **Sorry**!

Thanks, as always, to my beautiful reviewers! This is always for you!

And, I said I was gonna try to get it up before today, but obviously I didn't. So, I'm getting it up today! **I LOVE SNOW DAYS!!**

--

_It's dark. Why does it always have to be dark? He can't move. He can't breathe. He can feel the panic rising in him._

"_Scared, Dean?" came a voice from nowhere. _

_He jumped, moving for the first time. "Where are you?" he barked into the darkness. _

"Everywhere." The voice was in his ear; he could feel the breath on his neck, like last time. He spun around expecting to see a face of someone, anyone, but nothing. There was a menacing chuckle "I have no human form unless there is someone to possess, Dean." He said, as if speaking to a child "You can't see me."

"_Really? I didn't notice!" he spat into the air. "How can you speak if you have no human form, don't you need a voice?" He called out _

"_Well, don't you recognize this voice, Dean?" Dean froze, only now recognizing it "You don't even recognize your own father's voice? I'm shocked!"_

"_That wasn't the voice you were using, I would have noticed!" _

"_Oh, Dean." Came his father's voice, "This is a dream, I can bend anything." _

"_Why start bothering me now? Why not bother me at Sammy's age? Hell, what did you do to me that let me hear these goddamn voices in the first place??" He asked, ignoring the demon's comment. _

"_Dean, Dean, Dean…" there was a sigh, it sounded just like John did when he was disappointed in him, he shivered at the thought. "You always had the ability to do this. You know you did."_

"_No I didn't!" he cried, slightly surprised by the accusation _

"_Yes, you did. You may not have coconsciously accepted it, but you always could. Don't you remember those games you used to play with little Sammy? The 'guess-what-I'm-thinking-now' game?" _

"_How did you-"_

"_You always won, and little Sammy was always so wondrous of how you did it, and you'd always say 'It's magic, Sammy.' You didn't really know yourself at the time. You just liked that you were right." _

"_Have you been watching us-" _

"_Or do you remember when you were a kid, and you'd have a weird dream, and the next morning Sammy would tell you about his dream, and it'd be the same, down to the very-"_

"_That's enough!"_

"_-last-"_

"_Shut up!"_

"_-detail." _

"_How long have you been fucking watching us??!" _

"_Well, there's the stupid question of eternity." He could feel the demon's breath on his neck again "All your life." He said slowly _

_He spun around and backed away "Just leave us alone!" he cried, knowing how stupid that sounded to the demon. _

"_No can do." He said slowly again "You see, you're family wants to destroy me, I want to destroy your family-"_

"_You want to start a war!" _

"_Well, that's number 2 on my to-do list." The demon let out a laugh, and he let out a growl of disgust "But don't worry, Dean. It will all be over soon. Like I said, I'm going to kill your parents, and make you watch." _

"_Because they'll be _so _cooperative with that." he spat sarcastically _

"_Well, then, Deanie," he could hear the demon's nonexistent grin "I'll have you do the honors then." _

_He froze "What?" _

"_You heard me…you, and little Sammy-"_

"_Stop calling him that! It's SAM!" he barked_

"_-will slit your parents throats…and you can watch as they slowly choke on their own blood…and then, oh yes, I'll have you kill Sammy the same way, but don't worry, I'll have the demon leave him first."_

"_You shut the fuck up right now!" he could feel himself start to hyperventilate "And then, you'll slit your own throat, and I'll leave your body…" the whisper was in his head "and bye-bye Winchesters."_

Dean shot up screaming.

--

Well, what didja think? Comments, flames and love welcome! Just gimme something! Later lovlies!!

-claire

**Preview for next chapter:**

"_I dunno, Dean. This is starting to get out of hand."_

"_I know that, Sammy. It's just…I don't…"_

"_We need to call Missouri."_

_Dean's head shot up. _


	6. Chapter 6: So Much in One Day

**Voices in My Head**

**Chap. 6**: So Much in One Day

Haha, it seems I've been updating on only snow days lately! Haha, and I also have the rest of the week off cuz of the senior trip! My sis is going, but I'm just glad the rest of the school got off, I don't have school until TUESDAY!!!

**NOTE: **Ok, so **timetowaste** commented on how the demon killing them seemed illogical…so let me just explain _why _I said the demon would kill them. I personally just think that the Winchesters and more trouble than they're worth. I mean, there are hundreds of other people out there with a power like Sam and Dean, so why bother trying to corrupt Sam and Dean if they're just like the others, but are so much more trouble to get to? I dunno, that's just my personal opinion. **timetowaste,** that was a really good point, and it proves how slow my mind works, but I dunno…thank you, thought. Your comment made me think .

**Ok, onto the story!**

--

Sam sat at the same table he had been since he and Dean had talked a few hours ago. Dean's words just kept running through his head… _"Can't they just understand…I—I don't want to remember, Sam." _Sam felt his anger fuel up again, anger towards his dad…his mom…_himself_. It was their fault Dean was this way. They'd pushed him so hard to remember, it took Sam nearly 2 weeks to realize what it was doing to Dean. He'd just wanted Dean to talk about it and…and he'd nearly broken his brother. I mean, Dean cried. Dean fucking_ cried. _And what he said…he was so…It was like he had the non-Dean from over a month ago back. Like it wasn't his brother, just a blank slate in his brother's body.

"_I can't do this, Sam. I can't. I…I just give up."_

Sam quickly scrubbed at his eyes, blocking the tears before they could fall. To even think that Dean would say that…but the fact that he _did_…Sam couldn't even think. His mind was moving at a million miles a minutes. His heart beating even faster. What was he going to do? How could he fix this? _You can't._ He thought to himself. And as much as he wanted to fight that thought…he knew it was true.

But he was torn from his thoughts when a strangled scream and rapid movement came from Dean's bed. At light speed Sam shot from his chair and to his brother. Sam made it so fast to the bed Dean was still screaming.

"Dean!!" Sam cried, grabbing his sitting up brother by the shoulders. Dean's strangled cry stopped almost immediately. His eyes wide and unfocused. "Dean?"

Dean didn't respond for almost a minute before he turned to Sam, his eyes focusing. "Sam?"

Sam nearly cried out in relief, thinking his brother had gone catatonic permanently. "Are you ok?"

Dean blinked "Yea, Sam. Why-" Dean stopped then, realization flowing into his eyes "Aw, shit…" Dean looked at Sam "I didn't scream, did I?"

Sam let out a choked laugh, and shook his head in disbelief at his brother "What were you dreaming about?" he asked, sobering up.

Dean shook the sleep from his tired head and Sam stood and Dean moved to get up. He let out a sigh and began to explain.

--

Sam stared up at his brother in confusion. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it. He had so much to say but nothing would come out. He had so many questions but no way to ask them. He was overflowing and completely empty.

"Sam, say something." Dean looked down at Sam who was sitting on his own bed.

"He'll never stop this shit, will he?"

"You mean good ol' yellow eyes?" Dean asked sarcastically "Doubt it."

"But Dean…why would he…kill us?" Sam felt so lost "Not to be pompous, but…wouldn't he want to, I dunno, use us?"

Dean ran his hand over his face and sat down opposite Sam, a position the two brothers seemed to sit in a lot lately. "I really dunno man. This is all just so…fucked. Can't believe I'm sayin' this but…why couldn't we'of just been normal?"

Sam snorted "Yea…" Sam shoo his head "I just dunno, Dean. This is starting to get out of hand."

"Like it wasn't before?" Dean snorted. He looked up at Sam's serious face and sighed, "I know, Sammy. It's just…I don't…"

"We need to call Missouri."

Dean's head shot up. "Missouri?" He asked. He hadn't seen Missouri since he stayed with her for those months. He could remember bits and pieces of when he was there, not much, but enough for him to feel embarrassed and awkward around her…even at the thought of her. "Sam, do you really think-"

"Dean, she's a psychic. She's more like you than she is me." Dean raised an eyebrow "Well…you know…'power' wise." Dean let out a dry laugh, "Man, come _on_. What else are we gonna do?"

Dean let out another sigh "I know man…" Dean looked up at Sam "But _you're_ gonna be the one to call her."

"Why do I have to?"

"Because it was your idea…don't you want credit, Sammy-boy?" Dean cracked a grin

Sam shook his head. "Fine." He walked over to where his coat lay on his bed and dug into the pocket, he quickly dialed her number and listened to the ring…

"Hello?" Sam paused, unsure of what to say "Sam, if you're trying to prank call me I'm gonna woop your ass, boy." The older woman threatened.

Sam grinned, "No, I'm not, Missouri." He laughed, "I was actually calling about…Dean." Sam looked over at his brother who was pacing by the 'kitchen.'

"What's wrong?" she asked, already able to sense he wasn't physically hurt

Sam went on to explain to Missouri about Dean's nightmares and how he can only remember bits and pieces, and then the big bomb: the 'power' he formed. Huh, it was funny how so much horror for a family could be condensed into about 5 minutes.

"Oh, Sammy." She paused "I knew there was something going on in that boy's head, always knew." She said. Sam smiled again, but was again unsure what to say. Why did he call Missouri? He thought she could help, but how could he ask for this woman's help? She'd already taken care of Dean for months when had no memory of anything but his torture. "Sam, you listening, boy?" She asked

"What? I'm sorry Missouri, what did you say?" He asked

"I said I want you boys to come down here as soon as possible, how long will it take you?"

"Oh, um-I dunno, we could probably be there by…" He paused and looked at the clock '2:27 PM' it read. _Holy shit_. Sam thought. Had he really been lost in thought for almost seven hours? "By tomorrow morning." He finished, dazed slightly.

"Ok, I'll see you boys soon." She paused "Be careful." She added before hanging up. Sam pulled his phone from his ear and looked at it.

"What did she say?" Dean asked him

Sam looked up at Dean "She said to come by."

Dean nodded and looked out the window "The sun is setting." He said plainly, before turning to Sam.

"I'll pack our shit, you go tell mom and dad we have to go to Missouri's."

"Why do I have to go tell them?" Dean complained

"'Cause I had to call Missouri." Sam said, shaking his head at their immaturity.

Dean let out a dramatic sigh, "_Fine_." Dean paused on his way to the door "Dude, that was only this morning at the diner…wasn't it?" Dean asked, Sam looked up and nodded "Feels like a lifetime ago…and they still don't know any of this shit."

Sam paused, it _had_ felt like weeks ago that Dean had passed out in front of that diner, not long after he'd hung up his phone on his farther, and not that long before Dean poured out his worst memory to Sam.

_How can there be so much horror in one day for one family?_

Because it's one family in particular, the Winchesters.

--

Ok, guys, **I'm so sorry**. I always make you wait so long and then the chapters aren't even that good…flames and reviews always welcome!! But please, have constructive flames, not just 'this blows.' Cuz, yes, I already know.

Later lovlies!!

-claire


	7. Chapter 7: Catatonic

**Voices in My Head: Chapter 7**

**Note I**:Ok, so my layout has become a little fucked. Ya see, I've combined a few chapters, so the numbering is all off and I'm not even done with it. It just sorta dropped off at one point and I have no idea where to go next…the last chapter I'd written on it isn't for about 7 chapters (that is, if I don't combine any more) and that one aint even the final chapter. I need to figure out where to go after that when I'm done with this chapter.

**Note II**: I've thought up another chapter-fic for when I'm done with this baby. I'll go more into detail about it when I finish this fic.

Oh, today was my sister's birthday…I made her cake!! Ahaha, it was lop-sided XD

--

Sam was driving. Dean hadn't even complained. In fact, he hadn't said a word since they'd gotten in the car; and to be honest, Sam was feeling a bit worried about him.

Sam had walked into his parents' motel room to find John right in Dean's face, barking at him for answers. Sam, having seen the hidden fear in his brother's eyes, ran over and pushed John back, _hard_.

"_Sam!" _

"_Boys, please, don't start-"_

"_What the hell do you think you're doing??!" _

"_Trying to get answers, and he's being too vague!" _

"_Boys!"_

"_What??! Dad! He just had a nightmare telling us we're all going to kill each other and he's being vague??!" _

"_He won't answer me!" _

"_Boys! God damnit! Both of you _shut up _and let's get out of here!" _

Sam's knuckles turned white as he tightened his angry grip on the steering wheel. He was so fucking pissed at his father. If Mary hadn't literally jumped in between the two and screamed at them to get in their cars Sam's would've beat the shit out of John.

He spared a glace at his brother once again, who was staring out the windshield catatonically. He'd tried to get Dean to say something several times in the past hour they've been in the car, but nothing.

Why the hell had one screaming match with their father broken Dean?

--

They made it to Missouri's before the sun had even risen. It was almost four thirty in the morning and Sam was glad Dean had fallen asleep several hours before. It was better to have Dean not moving with his eyes closed than with them open.

Sam paused for a moment, should he wake Dean? _Oh course you should, dumbass. What are ya' gonna do? Let him sleep in the car? Then he _really_ wouldn't speak to you._ Sam reached over and shook his brother.

"Dean," he said, "Dean, we're here." Dean didn't respond for a minute but then moaned and muttered something incoherent. _At least he 'said' something._

John threw open his door, Sam watched through the windshield as Mary scurried over to him and said something, thrashing her hands in the air as she said it. John got a pissed look on his face and opened his mouth to say something, but Mary pushed him back against the car, saying something else and then started to walk towards the Impala, John stayed back. She walked to the driver's side and Sam opened the door. He smiled weakly up at his mom before passing a glance over to a pissed looking John, who was leaning against the truck.

"I told him to wait over there."

Sam nodded and turned back to Dean, in attempts to wake him up again, this time Dean opened his eyes a crack. "Dude, we're here." Sam said with a smile. Dean looked up at Missouri's house, almost nervously, before nodding and getting out of the car, Sam did the same, but didn't move towards the house.

John pulled into a standing position and Dean paused mid-step for a moment just staring at him father, before walking up the steps where Missouri was already waiting. She looked sadly at Dean who gave her an awkward look before going into the house. Missouri nodded at John, although Sam could tell she knew he'd silenced Dean and had a look on her face that said 'We're going to have a long take about this, Winchester.' Missouri looked over to Sam and Mary who still stood by the car, and smiled warmly at them, beckoning them in with her hand before turning back inside.

"He hasn't said a word since dad yelled at him." Sam said, looking at his mother as the two made their way to the house.

Mary bit her lip "Your father just sort of exploded." She said sadly "Your brother was telling us about the dream, and how you'd called Missouri, and John just sort of started to scream." She looked away from her youngest son, ashamed by her husband's behavior.

Sam wrapped his arm around his short mother and pulled her. "It wasn't your fault, ma. Dad's just an ass." Mary tensed slightly at her son's disrespect for his father, but said nothing.

Sam removed his arm from his mother's shoulder as they made it into the house, John walking past them out of the house, looking ticked.

"I sent John to get all your bags, and I already sent Dean up to his room." Both Sam and Mary visibly flinched at the phrase 'his room.' It just reminded them of the last time they were here, when Dean didn't even remember their names. "Sam, why don't you go up and check on him, and Mary, how 'bout some coffee?"

--

Sam walked into Dean's old room to find him looking out the window, and Sam felt an extreme sense of déjà vu. "Dean?" Sam asked

"Sorry I freaked you out in the car, Sam." Dean said with a sigh. Sam stood silent. "Every time you kept lookin' at me I knew you were freaked out. But…I just needed to collect my thoughts, ya know?"

Sam nodded, but then felt stupid because Dean's back was to him and said "Yea." he walked into the room and leaned against the wall next to the window "What did dad say to you?"

"It's not what he said…" Dean paused "It's—when he was yelling at me for not coming to him before calling Missouri, all I could think was how much I wanted to kill him." He turned to Sam "And all these visions of killing him in his sleep filled my head and…" Dean trailed off "Maybe I am a monster." Dean said quietly

Sam's eyes widened. Dean hadn't been quiet because John had said something harsh, but because he'd had thoughts of killing him? No, not Dean. "Dean," Sam said, "You _are not _a monster. You _kill_ monsters, you _protect_ people _from_ monsters, but _you_ are _not_ a monster."

Dean bit his lip and looked to his brother "I don't even know anymore, Sammy."

--

Sorry, another shorty! But, hey! I have no homework this weekend cuz I had 3 tests on Friday, and I already finished my project a week in advance. But I still have a religion project to do, and it's a big one, so while I'm working on that bitch the chaps may only come every other week. Sorry guys!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, review as always! Later lovlies!

-claire


	8. Chapter 8: Talks with Missouri

Voices in My Head

Chapter 8

**Note**: holy SHIT! I haven't updated in 2 MONTHS?! I am a HORRIBLE PERSON! begs for forgiveness Seriously, I've had so much crap lately. Orchestra went to Boston to play at Harvard which was a lot of fun! and I've had so much schoolwork lately! I mean, there's been like 5 '5-page-minimum essays' within the past 2 months! Not to mention all my usual homework.

But ANYWAY! My birthday is tomorrow gonna be 15! Holy crap! and in celebration I decided to post another chapter.

**NOTE**: The First part of this chap is sorta weird, I dunno. It's kinda like a chapter prolog…

**Sorry again, I blame school!**

_PS: Hockey fans: Anyone catch the Sabres game on Friday? Miller is AMAZING! __So__ glad the Islanders are out of the playoffs now!_

--

It's been going on for only three days, but it feels like the moments are dragging on purposely, mocking them.

It was like a war, really. A silent war. All of them were mad at John. Well, Mary, Sam and Missouri were. Dean was just sort of…there. After admitting to Sam about what he had felt he hadn't said much. A few words here and there, but nothing real. Sam hadn't told anyone what Dean had told him, he was trying to figure it out himself. He _knew_ Dean was no monster…where they just both taking this overboard? I mean, come on, don't we all feel like killing some people sometimes? Dean just happened to already have images in his head…

Mary was out of her mind with grief, to say the least. She always seemed spastic, especially when Dean was around. It took Missouri to get her to calm slightly. Giving her a cup of her 'special tea' and Mary was off to take a long nap…

John wasn't speaking either. Well, it wasn't that _John_ wasn't speaking to anyone; it was that _no one_ was speaking to _John_. Mary was beyond pissed at her husband, Sam's rage for his father was just fueled by his actions, and Missouri had known what had happened before anyone had even told her and was pissed herself.

But Dean…Dean was apathetic about everything. He didn't show much emotion, well _real_ emotion. He'd force smiles and laughs and mask his emotion to stop the worrying, but Sam could see through it, Missouri didn't have to, Mary was too worried and John seemed oblivious, either that or he just didn't care.

Sam kept suggesting to try to harness Dean's 'power' but Dean just sort of brushed his brother off, 7 times. Then Mary tried suggesting it, but Dean still showed not too much interest. Then John tried to force Dean into it, which lead Sam and John to a screaming match and Dean to take a 4-hour walk.

Sam asked Missouri to talk to Dean. Maybe the psychic would do the trick…

--

Dean was lying in bed, he didn't bother trying to sleep. Now he really knew what it was like to be Sam. No wonder he was always brooding. He decided to let his mind wander, he was getting a little better at blocking out the dreams at night. First he got snip-bits of Mary's dream. It had something to do with apple pie and white picket fences. Next, he got a glance at John's dream, it was something about driving the truck at 200 miles an hour, Dean wasn't really sure. Then he shifted his thoughts to Sam's room, and nothing happened. Either Sam wasn't asleep or he just wasn't dreaming. But Dean didn't hear any thoughts coming from the room, so he was probably asleep. Dean was starting to get a headache and decided to try to block them all out again, but a faint voice in his head caught his ear. It was Missouri's. She was thinking something about him. In fact, she was calling him.

Dean sat up, confused. He rubbed his temples and managed to mainly block out the dreams and voices. He got out of bed and walked downstairs to where he'd sensed the thoughts coming from. The thoughts of Missouri's were laced in emotion and worry. Dean knew Missouri was worried around him, and feeling just as awkward as he was, and he knew she knew it too.

He made it to the bottom of the stairs and walked to the kitchen. There was Missouri, sitting in the dark with a steaming mug.

"I was wondering when you'd get you lazy rump out of bed."

"Rump?" Dean asked, mentally grinning as he took a seat at the table.

"Yes, rump. You know I don't like foul language Winchester."

_Shit-Fuck. _Dean thought, and laughed when Missouri smacked him. But then they realized they were naturally joking around and stopped, looking at eachother awkwardly.

They were silent for a long moment, before Dean opened his mouth "Look, Missouri, I…" he paused. What was he trying to say? Thanks for taking me in? Sorry I crashed at your house for several months? What?

"I know." Was all Missouri said, looking him sincerely in the eye. She smiled warmly at him and reached over to place her hand over him.

Dean let out a sigh "You see…it's just…I don't really…remember when I was here. I mean, I remember bits and pieces but…" he paused and looked up at Missouri, his emotions showing strong and true "I remember that…that you took me in, without any question and…that you helped me."

"Dean…"

"I mean, I kinda just showed up one your doorstep mute and covered in blood, and you just…helped me." He found it hard to string his words together. Was he trying to thank her?

"Dean," she stopped him "I know." Tears filled his eyes. She smiled at the young man, watching him. "Dean," she said, making him look her in the eye "You're no monster." He let out a bitter sounding, single laugh and quickly scrubbed at his eyes "The demon is playing with your head, boy. You have to know that this isn't you. You know this, don't you?" He kept trying to look away, but she kept moving her head so their eyes would link "Dean, _Dean_. It's not you."

Dean scrubbed at his eyes again, harder than before. "Missouri…I don't…I don't know…"

"You're a good person, Dean. You're strong, brave, you help people. You'll never be a monster. Neither you, nor Sam, nor Mary or John. They _will_ try to turn you, and they _will_ try to mess with your heads, but they'll _never_ turn you. You're too strong." Dean looked her right in the eyes and nodded, some tears escaping his eyes. Why the hell couldn't he stop crying??

"I sorry." He whispered, he didn't even know what for. He just needed to apologize.

Missouri nodded, and held her hands over his, willing her strength into the younger man.

"Why not try to control your power, Dean?" but she already knew the answer.

"I'm afraid." Dean looked away, ashamed.

"Of what?" She knew, so why did she torture him so? Dean knew it was because she wanted _him_ to say it.

"I…I'm afraid if…if I get control of it the demon will turn me and…" he looked back at Missouri "and use me to kill you all." He whispered

Missouri took his hands again and tightened her grip "Like I said, boy." She leaned in "They'll _never_ turn you." She looked at him sincerely, and leaned back "Now, why don't we sleep. Tomorrow you're going to start practicing with Sam."

It wasn't a request.

--

Eh, a little crappy. But what can I say? I'm trying to keep the readers after neglecting you for so long! Someone might call RPS on me! (readers protection service…teehee, I'm funny)

Anyway, please tell me what you all think! And sorry again!

-claire


	9. Chapter 9: Remember what I Told You

**Voices in My Head**

**Chapter 9 **

**Note**: Yes, I know, it's been a LONG TIME since I've updated. But what else is new, eh? Sorry. Yes, I know. I'm a horrible person. Forgive me? Will an update help the forgiving process? I know it will.

It's summer now, so (hopefully) there will be more updates more frequently!!

--

Dean lay in bed, having been awoken by Sam. He felt groggy and tired, he hadn't been getting much sleep at all lately. And after his little trip to the kitchen in the middle of the night last night, he was even more tired. But he knew he couldn't fall asleep. Even when everyone else was awake, he could still hear their thoughts, they manipulated his dreams. He couldn't block it out when he slept, but he'd gotten pretty good at blocking it out while he was awake. Every once in a while he'd slip and get a major migraine, but he hadn't passed out since the diner. Well, he hadn't passed out in front of anyone anyway. He'd passed out on his bed a few days ago, he'd been dead tired and couldn't block it out, so the migraine became too much and he passed out. But he'd 'slept' eight hours that night, which was pretty good.

He was also having newer nightmares lately. It would just be him and the Demon. The demon would just keep telling him about how he was going to make them kill eachother. Yea, that was nothing new. But he'd told Dean something new. _You and Sam? Once your dead I'll have __complete control__ of you. You'll direct my army, and together we'll take down all that is good. The light will be no more._ Dean always woke up shaking from that. Great, not only would he and his little brother kill their own parents, then they'd be turned against the light…Fuck. He didn't want to tell Sam about this new information. I mean, _jeez_ the kid already had self-loathing issues to begin with.

But his thoughts kept drifting back to Missouri's words. _"They will try to turn you, and they will try to mess with your heads, but they'll never turn you. You're too strong." _Could she be right?

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to awaken somewhat. He looked to the clock to see it was quarter to nine. He groaned at how early it was, but by the lack of sensing dreams he knew everyone else was awake already. He stretched, shaking the tiredness away and walked to the bathroom.

--

Once Dean made it downstairs, fully dressed and clean, he saw only Mary and Sam were at the table. Missouri looked up from the dishes she was washing before Dean even made a sound. She smiled warmly at him, Dean marveled at how she didn't look tired at all.

"Mornin' sunshine." She grinned, Dean merely grunted. "What are you boys gonna do today?" She was asking both Sam and Dean, but she was staring directly at the elder.

Dean glared at Missouri for a second before turning to Sam. "I was thinking, uh…maybe we could try to work our…shining, or whatever." Dean didn't want to call it a 'power'.

Mary seemed to beam at the idea, and Sam grinned and nodded, "Sure, that'll work." When Dean turned to get some coffee Sam looked to Mary and gave her a thanking smile. She waved he hand in a 'No problem' way and went back to the dishes.

--

Sam and Dean sat directly across from eachother. Sitting alone in the living room, no one knew where John went, and Missouri was keeping Mary busy so Dean and Sam could concentrate.

They'd been sitting like this for almost 15 minutes, trying to get Dean to read Sam's thoughts. Dean let out an angry sigh "This isn't working."

"We just need to concentrate harder. You can do it Dean. Now, come on. Try again."

Dean sighed and nodded. He decided to try closing his eyes. He was trying hard, he really was. But all he could think about was the dreams he'd been having. He concentrated hard, clearing his mind of any thought. He could hear Sam's voice, almost as if it were in the distance, coming closer. But after only a second it was blocked out by a loud booming voice

"_Winchester."_

Dean clutched his temples and felt Sam grab his hands. Dean's head shot up and Missouri ran into the room. "He's here." They said at once. Sam looked from Dean, to Missouri, to Mary who'd run in after Missouri.

"Is he possessing someone?" Sam asked

Missouri opened her mouth to answer, but the voice filled Dean's head again and he clutched his temples _"Complete control, Dean…"_ Dean could feel Sam clutching his wrists, and Dean used all his might to push the Demon from his mind.

What happened next, shocked them all. A voice boomed overhead, as if on a loud speaker. "You've gotten stronger Dean, and you were pretty strong to begin with…just remember what I told you"

All their eyes were wide "How did he talk without a human shell?" Mary asked, her mouth hanging open.

"He's getting stronger by the _day_." Missouri whispered, looking from the woman, to her sons. Aww _fuck_. This was just getting _better_ and _better_.

Dean and Sam bit their lips in worry. But then Sam got a look on his face and turned to Dean "What did he mean 'Remember what I told you'?"

--

(dramatic music plays) OHNOES! Dean is gonna have to tell Sam about ruling the armies! Was this worth it? I really pray it was…

Sorry for the long wait, again.

-claire


	10. Chapter 10: Missouri, the Psychoatrist

**Voices in My Head**

**Chapter 10: **Missouri, the Psycho-atrist

**Note**: I've got Tae Kwon Doe in a bit, so it's not too too long, but I wanted to update. Don't forget to review and compliment/criticize me! I always appreciate it!

This chapter is just sorta a 'How's Dean feeling?' type'a chapter.

--

Dean was pretty unsure himself how he managed to get away from Sam and avoid his question. After he managed to block the demon out he all sort of blurred together. John came home and asked Mary what had happened when he saw the look on everyone's face. Sam had barked at John _'If you'd have been here and not __**hiding**__ then you'd know!_' and, of course, John countered with _'Are you calling me a coward?'_ and thus, the screaming match began.

Now, Dean sat on the front step, blocking out the screaming while Mary played referee. "This family is freakin' bug nuts." He muttered quietly to himself

"You got that right." Dean would have jumped, if he hadn't already sensed Missouri was near by. "But, then again, isn't that what makes life interesting?"

"What, having your memory wiped by a demon bent on killing your family, being missing for two years, coming back, remembering, getting a freaking _power_ and having the only people you have fly into a rage because of you? Yea…life is really interesting."

"Like I've said before, at least it never gets boring with you Winchesters." She said with a smile, as she plopped down next to Dean on the steps. She paused and looked at Dean, _really_ looked at him, analyzing him "How are you feeling, Dean?"

"Oh, what are you? A Psychiatrist?" Dean paused and grinned as he thought _'More like psycho-atrist.' _To which Missouri playfully cuffed him on the back of the head. Dean laughed and smiled at the woman. It faded slightly, but didn't lose it's sincerity, when he said "Did…did I ever really…thank you for…ya' know?"

Missouri gave Dean a motherly smile and patted his knee "You're welcome. You know I'm more than happy to help you Winchesters out." Dean nodded and looked down; she titled her head slightly, trying to keep Dean's face in full few "You have to tell them, you know that."

Dean sighed and nodded "Yea I know…but how do you know what he said?" He paused "Right, stupid question to ask a psychic."

She smiled again, and gave his knee a reassuring squeeze "You have to tell them, now." Dean nodded again, not getting up "You're afraid John's gonna blow up at you again." It wasn't a question.

Dean didn't look up, but Missouri could sense he was trying not to get too emotional "I…They deserve to get what they want. Mom, Dad, Sam. All of them. Mom and dad should be taking a million vacations, like normal couples do when they get rid of their kids." Dean smiled slightly at the thought "Sam shouldn't be having those stupid visions, he should be in college, like I know he's wanted to-"

"But what about you?"

"What?" he looked up at her, with a look in his eye as if he'd almost forgotten she was there.

"What about what you want? What do _you_ want, Dean?"

"For them to be happy." He said, sincerely.

She nodded "I know it doesn't seem like it, but now that you're back, Dean, they _are_ happy. And once you get that demonic sonofabitch, like a know you will, you'll all be able to go on a million vacations, or go to college-"

Dean shook his head "But it's never going to be over." He whispered

Missouri placed her hands over Dean's and shook her head "Yes it will." She said quietly, looking him right in the eye "Now go. They need to know." Dean nodded, but still didn't get up. Missouri smiled "I'll be right there with you, if John tries to bitch, I'll woop his ass." Dean let out a laugh and nodded at Missouri, actually standing now.

"Missouri?" He asked as he helped her stand

"Yes, honey?"

"Thanks. Not just for letting me vent just now. But more…more for taking me in." He said in an awkward voice. Missouri smiled as she heard his thought _'I'm not usually this emotional…'_

"Dean, I already told you, I'm more than happy to-"

"But I'll never be able to thank you enough for it." He said sincerely. She nodded, smiling, and lead him inside.

--

Yes, yes, I _know_. This wasn't crucial to the story, but I wanted to put it in. You know Dean's never really gonna truly confess how he feels to Sam, so it had to be to Missouri! Please review. I gotta go now though, TKD awaits!

-claire


	11. Chapter 11: Practice makes Migraines

**Voices in My Head – Chapter 11**

**Note:** OK! I know, I'm the most horrible person in the world. Really, I had intended to update before I went on vacation, but things got hectic around the house, we ran out of suitcases, or whatever the problem was, so I never got to update, but I'm doing it now! Sorry again! (Again, this isn't beta'd, so I know my grammar sucks! If you find anything, tell me!)

I hope this is long enough, and if you wanna, why don't you try reviewing afterwards? Ya know, you can call me a retard or tell me what I thought of the story (hahaha)! Enjoy!

--

_Dean stood, almost shaken, in front of his family. He swallowed hard and went to finish his story. "So…so, like he said, he's going to have complete control of me and Sam and he said…he said he was going to use us to head his armies in the take down of the light."_

_There was silence for a moment, before "He just told you this, just before?" John asked _

"_Well…no, he told me in a dream last night." _

"_You knew all day?" _

"_Not like you were here even if he wanted to tell you." Sam spat at his father. _

"_Don't you talk to me that way-!" The two started to yell._

_Dean could feel a headache coming on, his annoyance at his father and brother started to bubble over along with his rage at the demon. All this mixed with virtually no sleep caused the new found psychic to snap. _

"_Oh would you both shut the FUCK UP!" He roared, causing the two and his mother to jump "I mean, _Christ_! You're worse than three year olds! Unless you think that fighting day and night will help us—and in that case you're pretty fucking stupid—"_

"_Hey-!"_

"_NO. You're gonna shut up and _stop fighting_ from now on! Just swallow your fucking pride and give it up! Can't you see? Your idiocy is just tearing this family apart and if _we_ fall apart then we might as well just sacrifice ourselves— and the world — to that yellow-eyed son-of-a-bitch! No, how are we gonna stop this?" _

The memories of the fight that had been a few hours before wouldn't leave his head. He'd been mean, but they'd needed to hear it. John and Sam hadn't fought in the hours since he'd yelled at them, which may seem small, but the two were talking civilly now, all though they both seemed awkward. Mary would always send loving and thankful looks Dean's way when they saw this.

"Dean, _Dean_. C'mon! Focus, dude." Sam's voice penetrated his thoughts and he was suddenly conscious as to where he was again. He was sitting knee to knee with Sam again, trying to read his thoughts. But in his attempts to clear his mind he'd done the complete opposite.

"Sorry." He mumbled, he shut his eyes and focused on nothing but hear Sam's thoughts. He could hear his voice getting closer and closer, and soon he knew what Sam was saying, "Concentrate? C'mon, dude. That's a pretty lame thing to send telepathically." _Dean wears pink frilly underwear_. "Oh, you bitch." Dean punched Sam in the arm while the younger brother laughed. Once he stopped laughing the two sobered up again.

"Ok, let's try again." Sam said

Dean nodded and opened his mind once again, but almost immediately a migraine attacked him and the booming voice cried _'It'll all be over soon, Dean.' _Dean felt himself fall back off of the foot rest he'd been sitting on, his vision started to darken at the edges as he heard people come running into the room, their loud thoughts, mostly along the lines of 'What happened?' filled his head. He immediately closed his mind and clutched his eyes shut

"Stop thinking so loud." He ground out, trying to lighten the mood and get them to step back. Sam pulled Dean up back onto the couch, as the elder shook his head tiredly. "Well, that was fun." Dean said sarcastically, rubbing his temples. Dean looked up at Missouri, would had a look of slight confusion on her face "Did you hear him?"

"Who-the demon?"

"You didn't hear him? Just now?"

"No-"

"So he only wanted me to hear it-"

"Hear _what_?" Sam asked

"It wasn't anything special or intelligent just him telling me 'it's all gonna end soon.'" Dean said in a mocking tone

Sam paused and looked at his brother, and voiced everyone's question "Why bother sending such a pointless message?"

"He probably wants me to stop…training, with you. So, now every time I open my mind he's gonna attack me." A grin broke out on his face "That bitch is _afraid_ of me."

"Now, don't get ahead of yourself, Dean." John started

Dean just shook his head "Yea, yea, whatever. Look, I'm gonna go sleep, having someone hijack your mind kinda takes its toll on you." Dean said dismissively. He stood and walked up the stairs to his room.

The four remaining in the room exchanged looks, Missouri and Sam nodded at each other, in a silent understanding. She led John and Mary to the kitchen so they could discuss this while Sam went to check on Dean. He made it to the top of the stairs and halfway down the hallway when his mind exploded in pain.

_It was dark, he couldn't see anything at first. But then there were voices…from behind him? He turned to see Dean and a man with yellow eyes. There was light only on them, like a spotlight overhead; they were standing on what looked like a grassy area. He could hear them talking, but can't make out what they're saying. The demon is laughing and Dean looks angry. Then the demon's grin widens and Dean clutches his head and falls to his knees, screaming. After a second, Sam can see blood seeping through Dean's fingers, from Dean's _ears_. He tries to call out Dean's name, but no sound comes out. The Demon is laughing, and he turns and looks straight at Sam. Sam lets out a scream, and screws his eyes shut. He's saying his name 'Sam, Sam…'_

"Sam, Sam!" He opened his eyes. He was leaning harshly on the hallway wall, Dean was standing in front of him holding his shoulders.

"Dean?"

"I heard your screaming."

"I was screaming?"

"Well…mentally." He said sheepishly, and Sam gave him a weak smile "Wanna tell me about it?" Sam looked at his brother for a moment before nodding.

--

That was it, enjoyed it? Hated it? Tell me!

-claire


	12. Chapter 12: What Vision?

**Voices in My Head**

Chapter 12 

**NOTE**: (the usual) Sorry for taking forever!

--

"And you're sure it was me?"

"For chrissakes! Dean, how many times am I gonna have to say yes to you for it to sink in??"

Dean ignored his sarcastic words and asked again "And I was bleeding from the _ears_?"

"_Yes_. Dean. The _ears_." Sam told his brother, trying to stay calm.

Dean nodded and took a deep breath "Ok. Ok…Sam? Don't tell mom and dad."

"What?! Dean, are you crazy-"

"Could be."

"-we _have_ to tell them!"

"We don't have to do _anything_." Sam opened his mouth to yell at his brother some more but Dean cut him off "Look, Sammy. If you tell them they'll just freak out even more and like lock me in a closet or something. And I really don't need that. I _can't_ do that when we have to be hunting the demon."

"But if he kills you-"

"Then I'll be dead! Just like the people we _can't_ save…just like _grandma_." Dean barked out before he could stop himself.

Sam looked like Dean had just said he'd run over his dog. At the look in his little brother's eyes Dean immediately regretted his words. "I—I don't think I could do this without you, Dean." Sam managed out

"Sam, don't be such a girl. Of course you could. You'd just have an even bigger vendetta-"

"No. Dean, I really don't think I could." Sam cut his brother off "I mean, I could barely do it when you were missing, Dean. And then it was only because we hadn't been given a body to bury! If I knew for sure you were dead I just _couldn't_ do it!"

Dean looked into his brothers eyes, almost apologetically, and quietly said, "Don't tell mom and dad." And he walked out.

--

Dean climbed into the impala, looking one last time up at the dark house. Everyone was asleep. Dean carefully started the engine and looked in to see the light in the room he and Sam shared go on. "I'm sorry, Sam." Dean whispered, "But it has to be this way." And he pulled out.

--

John sat awake, his sleeping wife in his arms. He hated this. He hated constantly fighting with Sam, worrying about Dean. He just wanted them to live normally and be happy. He wished he'd never gotten them into this quest of his a lot of the time. But it was too late now.

John jumped and Mary shot awake as their youngest son came crashing into the room screaming "Wake up!"

"Sammy?" Mary asked panickedly "What is it?"

"Dean's gone!" Sam screeched, as Missouri ran into the room, looking fully awake. "That fucker _left_." Sam cried, rushing around the room manically "I mean after all that's happened! After all I told him about my vision, he still _left-_"

"Wait, Sam, what vision?" Missouri cut off the young man's ranting.

Sam froze for a second, like a deer caught in the headlights. And quietly said "Oh shit."

--

I know, it's really really short! I'm sorry! But I have to go, I have tae kwon do, and if I didn't update now I wouldn't be able to update for a while, so this is it for now. The next chapter is all about Dean vs. The Demon! So it'll be good (I hope XD)

-claire


	13. Chapter 13: Seemed like a Good Idea

**Chapter 13**

**Note**: I am the most horrible, terrible, shouldn't-be-allowed-to-live person on this planet. I have made you all wait too long. I give you all permission to beat me within an inch of my life, but still keep my alive so I can update. I can't say sorry enough for taking so long, but high school has barely given me any time to do anything, let alone write (which made me want to kill myself, mind you). I know I've probably lost all my loyal readers (and I deserve it) but for those of you who read this, and stick with me, thank you so much for putting up with me. The reason I'm updating is 'cause me and my best friends read some of my old fanfics last night at 3 am and I felt so bad that I haven't updated in forever…so…

Enough ranting. Here's the chapter!

--

"And when were you planning on _telling_ us this?!" John roared, less than a moment after Sam finished explaining his vision. Leave it to John to answer first, and in a pissed off way, of course.

"I only had the vision last night!" Sam said defensively.

"I don't give a shit, Sam! After all the stuff with your visions what do we say? We said come wake us up or something! Especially when if involves your _brother_. Bleeding from his ears, more over!!" John roared his words as he rose to his feet.

"Dean told me not to!" Sam yelled, following suit.

"Since when do you listen to your brother that much?"

"I listen to Dean more than I listen to you, _Sir_." Sam spat harshly.

"Now, listen here you little _brat_-" John got right in Sam's face.

"Boys!" Mary screeched, causing them both to stop and turn to her. She was getting better at this whole referee thing. "Sitting here _screaming_ at each other like school children isn't going to help _Dean_! Or did you forget why you were fighting?" Missouri just stood behind Mary, nodding in agreement.

"Fine." Both men said at once, only sparing a glance at each other when it happened.

"What do you propose we _do,_ then?" John asked his wife in a quieter tone.

--

Dean continued to drive, his hands so tight around the steering wheel that his knuckles turned white. He tried his hardest to stay calm, to regain control of his emotions…But, ugh! It was so un-fucking-fair! Their family had been as normal as they could have been before Dean disappeared. Sure, hunting evil wasn't the normal white-picket-fence-and-apple-pie-life, but it was better than being dead. And than when he disappeared, it screwed things worse. And not to mention when he came back, had no memory, emotionally scarred his family, got his memory _back_, got 'shinning powers', and became the main source of his brother and father's declining relationship.

He was also a main source of his family's drama and angst. But there was a deeper source than him…_the_ demon. And Dean knew what he had to do. If he can just take down the demon, even if it meant sacrificing himself, his family could be ok after that. They would be ok. Sam says he couldn't do it without Dean. But Dean knew, Sam was smart, resourceful. He could make it through anything. Even losing his brother.

Yes, he had to admit, going after the demon alone wasn't really that intelligent, but he had a lifetime supply of weapons in his trunk, and this new 'power' in his head. What would be the point of having the stupid thing if it didn't help him, right? He had to have it for a helpful reason, right?? Really, Sam had his to help them know what the demon was doing, and that helped them assloads. So, what was Dean's gonna do?

Dean could remember Sam telling him about when he got his memory back. How there had been a mist and Dean had somehow thrown the demon across the room. So, if he did something like that then, when he was barely conscious and half dead, who's to say that he couldn't do it when he was completely here and battle ready? Yes. He could save his family all on his own. He could make up for all the trouble he'd caused. He could do this.

Right?

--

Sam racked his brain. Trying as hard as he could, trying to remember every tiny detail of his vision, trying to remember something specific, something that would tell him where his brother was going to be. Something. _Anything_.

John was across the living room, pouring over different articles, different weather reports, anything he hoped could help point them in the right direction. Mary was trying Dean's cell phone every few minutes, coming up short each time. Each time she shut her phone her frantic stance became more and more manic. Missouri was sitting not far from John on her couch, looking intently at her hands. Her eyes narrowed after a moment.

"That little bastard." She muttered anxiously. Everyone's heads shot up at that. The southern psychic looked at the family's expectant faces and sighed, "He's blocking me out. He knows I'd try to connect to him. He's getting better at this…"

"Maybe I should just drive around." Sam said quickly, all eyes turning to him "Mom and dad, you two stay here and see if you can find anything in those," he pointed to the papers and laptop in front of John "or if Dean decides he's retarded and comes back. Missouri and I can drive around and look for him. He couldn't be _that_ fair, right?"

John got that look on his face that he always got when someone else was calling the shots, but nodded when his wife did. "We need to go now, Sam." Missouri said, "I may not be able to connect to him, but he's getting close to what he's looking for, that much I can sense." Sam got an anxious look on his face and nodded, the two psychics rushing out the door.

--

Dean could sense Missouri's spiritual presence near him. "God, this is so fucking weird." He mumbled, blocking out the family friend. They couldn't be there for this. He knew that his family would be flipping out right now. _But they_ _could _not_ be there for this_. They couldn't be a part of this. He had to do it alone.

Another presence tried to force it's way into Dean's mind, this one stronger than even Missouri's, stronger and more…potent. It broke through Dean's mind easily, no matter how hard he tried. The break in was so painful that Dean had to pull over before he slammed into a tree. Slamming the car off, not even thinking to be gentle with is baby, he clutched his head, agony coursing through his head with every heartbeat.

_Get out of the car. _Dean tried to ignore the voice. Tried to push it out. He succeeded a little, allowing himself to think a little and rationality came back to him and he realized he'd found who he'd been looking for.

_I found you, Dean. Not the other way around. Now get out of the fucking car._ The voice bellowed in his head, he waited a moment, blocking out the voice for the most part so it was mainly a whisper in his mind, he threw open the car door and stepped out. He walked on to the grass he'd haphazardly parked on and looked around.

"That Missouri was correct. You _are_ getting stronger with your power, Dean." He heard a voice behind him and spun around. He saw a human silhouette, as it walked toward him. It stepped into the streetlight and Dean could see a normal human staring back at him, except for one thing.

The yellow eyes.

"Of course. I wouldn't have come looking for you if I couldn't control it, would I?" Dean snarled.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, boy." The demon growled, "You are _far_ from in control."

And at those words pain erupted in Dean's mind, he let out a cry of surprise and agony as he clutched his head. He tried to fight it off, and succeeded enough to be able to snarl, "I'm going to _kill_ you." In-between pants of pain. And with all his might, he pushed the pain back to the source. The demon got a surprised look on his shell's face and suddenly cringed, pressing his hand to his head. As Dean pushed and pushed, trying to keep it out, he could feel a presence creeping into his mind. He recognized it.

_No! Missouri knows where I am! They would come and get killed-!_ When that thought entered his mind he knew immediately the demon had heard it, he let his guard down for less than a second and the pain was shot back at him like a slingshot, and it was ten times worse. He fell to his knees clutching his head, the demon laughing as Dean cried out in agony.

"You're strong, Dean. Bur you'll never _beat_ me. Even if your family _does_ come. But if you join me, I could spare you. Join me, Dean."

"N-never." Dean snarled venomously, though he himself barely heard it. The demon seemed to, though.

"I'll just have to change your mind then, Dean. Though that last attempt of sending it back at me almost makes me want to spare you this…_almost_." At his last word it was like he'd thrown a bomb into Dean's mind, setting off explosions of unbearable pain, he screamed, unable to hold it back. He could feel something wet in his hands as they clutched the sides of his head.

And suddenly, the bomb was gone. Through the fog of lingering pain and the thunderous sound of his heartbeat. And then he heard something that made him panic worse than before.

"Dean!"

His baby brother's voice.

--

**End of 13**

Ok! So, was it worth the wait? Probably not. I can't promise that the next chapter will be up soon, but I don't think it's going to take 5 months again (ducks head in shame) again, I grovel at your feet, begging for forgiveness. If you feel like reviewing, please do! I accept the yelling at me for taking so long. But more over what you thought of the chapter.

Thanks, chickadees!


	14. Chapter 14: Devil's Prayer

**Voices in My Head **

**Chapter 14**: **Devil's Prayer**

**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, blah blah blah, Kripke does, blah blah blah. Don't own 'Deal or No Deal' either. But I do own the 'Devil's Prayer' well, at least I think I do. I didn't look it up, so it may exist. So if it does, I don't own that either.

--

Sam was out of the car before it was stopped. The scene was worse in person, despite the fact he had the image burned into his brain before it'd even happened. There, on his knees, sat his big brother. His hands cupped over his ears, blood seeping through his fingers. The yellow-eyed bastard turned and grinned right at him, just like in his dream. But this was different. Here he could scream.

"DEAN!" Sam took a step forward, but the Demon threw his arm out. Sam instinctively paused, and braced himself for being thrown into a wall, or in this case, the car. But it didn't happen. He heard a grunt from Missouri behind him and turned to see her pressed up against the car, head lolled to the side, unmoving. Sam turned to scream at the Demon but it spoke before he could.

"Don't worry. She's only stunned, not dead…not yet, anyway."

Sam eyes narrowed, "Let them go, and you can have me."

The Demon's eyes sparkled, and he grinned "Sorry, dear, sweet, Sammy. But this is an all or nothing deal. Either I get you both, or _no one_ does. So, Sammy. Deal, or no deal?" Since when did the Demon watch television? His calm, amused stance was starting the make Sam homicidal.

"No Deal." Sam spat.

"Oh, Sammy. But you had the million-dollar case! That was a _big_ mistake." He began to laugh.

It was that exact moment, Sam realized Dean wasn't screaming anymore. _"Keep talking to him. Pretend you don't hear me."_ Dean? Was he really talking to Sam in his head? "I don't think I'd really know how to spend a million dollars, anyway." Sam mocked. _"Dean what-?" "We need to overload him." "How?" "Devils Prayer." _Sam's eyes widened but he kept up the bluff. "Besides, if it's coming from you, it's probably stolen." _"Dean, we've never actually _used_ the Devil's Prayer before!" "No better time than the present." _

"Aww, Sammy. I'm hurt that you think that of me."

"No you're not. You're _flattered_."

"Oh, Sammy, you know me too well-"

"_Stop_ calling me Sammy." Sam snarled. "Only Dean can call me that."

"Aww, the brotherly love. It makes me want to vomit."

"What do you _want_ with us??"

"What do I want with you?" He laughed "How many times do I have to tell you thick-headed morons. I want you to rule my armies!"

"That's a pretty generic answer." Sam said with a roll of his eyes. _"Dean?"_

"What, you want the details of my plan, like all the retard villains in the movies? What do you think I am, stupid?"

"It's crossed my mind." _"Dean!" "Wait for it…" _"Why do you need the both of us?"

"Well, I need one man per army. One to destroy the heavens, and one to destroy the earth. Naturally I would think Dean would want the earth, to get back at all the people who fucked him over over the years, but I'll let you two pick." He grinned, his yellow eyes sparkling again.

"You do realize that's _never_ going to happen."

"Don't be so sure-" _"Now!" _

Sam's eyes flickered to where Dean had been on his knees, and the Demon, seeing this, spun to see. But before he could react to the fact Dean was standing, the two brothers began to belt out the Devils Prayer.

The Devils Prayer was an exorcism rite they'd learned when they were kids, but never used. It was supposed to exorcise the Devil himself out of a human being. When Sam was about seven, and Dean eleven, Sam had asked "Dad, why don't we just use it on normal demons? Won't it be faster?"

And their father had said in response "Because it'll kill the human it's possessing."

"But it we exorcise the devil, won't that kill the human then too?"

"Chances are, if the devil is possessing them, they're already dead."

The Devils Prayer had been used in small villages around the time of the Salem Witch Trials. It was probably used first in similar situations centuries of years before that. According to legends, it was supposed to have been created by God himself. But John had always said "Yea…that's a load of crap."

As the two brothers yelled out the Latin prayer for the first time the Demon began to writhe in agony. He looked, honest to god, _shocked_. That was a look they weren't used to seeing with him. He thrust his hand out towards Sam, and it suddenly felt like his arms had been bound together, and his mouth taped shut. He tried to move something, _anything_, but he couldn't. He moved his eyes, the only thing he _could_ move, to Dean, who seemed to be in the same situation.

But the Demon still continued to writhe in pain. Sam's eyes widened as he studied his brother. His eyes were narrowed, and Sam knew immediately what he was doing. 'He's saying it in his head! He's still doing it!' And for a moment, Sam felt triumphant, like they were winning for _once_. But that went away when the Demon flung his arm out again, and Dean was flung like a rag doll. He flew several feet until his head cracked on a metal park bench.

He could feel his heart break in two as his brother lay motionless, blood now trickling down his face.

He looked back at the Demon, who was staggering towards him. He stopped, and for a moment Sam thought he was going to kill him. The streetlight a few feet away flickered as the Demon fell to his knees and threw his head back. Sam watched as black smoke rushed from the man's mouth, and up into the black sky. The man's body fell limply to the ground, unmoving.

Sam almost immediately felt his muscles loosen, and he could move again. He heard a small gasp behind him and turned to see Missouri regaining her senses. She looked at Sam, eyes wide. "Check on the man!" Sam ordered, before turning and running to his brother's side.

"Dean!" Sam cried in a panic. "Dean, Dean, Dean." He said over and over again as he carefully pulled his brother into his arms. "Still breathing." Sam said to himself, relief filling him. "Dean. Dean, please." Sam begged, tears falling from his eyes now. His brother's eyes scrunched shut. Sam let out a small gasp of relief. "Dean, Dean can you open your eyes? Please?"

But Dean did what Sam though was shake his head. "…mmmhurts." Dean managed to get out.

"I know, I know it hurts, Dean." Sam said in a panic. Dean never admitted he was hurt unless he was delirious from fever or about to die. Sam prayed this was something new. "You got your head cracked on that bench pretty hard, man. Good thing you have a hard head."

"…shu' 'p, S'm…" Dean's words slurred together.

"Ok. Ok, no more talking. But Dean, I need you to stay awake. Ok? Can you do that? Please? For me?"

"Mmg'ss 'o…" It took Sam a second to realize his brother had been trying to say 'Guess so.'

"Ok, Dean. I'm gonna pick you up, I don't want you walking. Ok?"

"Mmmm…"

Sam carefully picked up his brother, and slowly stood. Careful not to stumble or fall, he turned to see Missouri standing there. "Take your car, I'll take the impala." Sam said, knowing that no matter what happened to his brother, he would _never_ be ok with Sam deserting his girl. "Call my parents. Tell them to meet us at the nearest hospital." Thankfully he knew where it was, having been with Missouri a lot over the past year.

Once in the car, Sam laid his brother across the front seat, his head on Sam's lap. Sam didn't want to leave Dean out of his sight, even if it only was the back seat.

"You'll be ok soon, Dean. I promise."

--

_Ok, so, what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Please tell me!_

_Also, good news! My last day of classes is 17 days away! And my first official day of summer is 25 days away! You know what that means? I'll have these final chapters up sooner! Yayness! _

_See ya later, chick-a-dees!! _

_-claire_


	15. Chapter 15: Thoughts of Dean

**Voices in My Heads**

**Chapter 15: Thoughts of Dean **

Hello, my lovely readers! Shocked I'm updating so fast? So am I! Enjoy!

--

Sam could only remember one time he felt this _terrible_: when Dean had first been kidnapped. He could remember feeling how it was his entire fault. If only he'd been more alert he wouldn't have been hit, and even then he should have gotten up faster. If Dean had been the one who had been hit he would have forced himself up and gotten Sam safe. He would never have let that happen to Sam. And even if by some freak chance he _did_ he would have found Sam a lot faster than two years.

As he sat in the plastic chair in the hospital waiting room he couldn't help but feel like crying. He had failed him. He'd failed his big brother. He'd let him get hurt, and it was all Sam's fault. He'd spent so much of his time fighting his father and trying to do things on his own. If he'd just set his pride aside, as Dean had said, and worked with his family none of this would have every happened.

Dean was always there. No matter when, where or how Dean was there. When Sam was upset as a kid, Dean would always be there to comfort him and make him feel better. When things got screwed up as adults, Dean would crack a joke and make him feel better. When Sam got hurt, both as a child and as an adult, Dean would patch him up. And he would always be as gentle as possible, making sure Sam had everything he needed before tending to himself.

That was the thing about Dean, he never put himself or his needs first. He always put others, his family especially, first. Dean's arm could be only hanging on by a nerve ending, and yet he'd tend to Sam's minor cut on his arm before even acknowledging his injury. Even when Dean was sick with fever or delusional from a concussion he'd always make sure to ask, "Sam, you ok?" And Sam would always want to laugh and cry in the same moment and just smack his brother. He wanted to say, "Stop thinking about me! Worry about yourself!"

And Dean's self-sacrificing wasn't limited to his physical well being. Even if it caused himself some emotional damage he'd do whatever he could to save his family. Especially when Sam and John would fight. Sam knew what a terrible effect his and his father's fights had on his brother, and yet he let his selfish side take over and he'd fight anyway. But despite that Dean would step in-between their fights and bark at them to stop. That would usually lead to some cruel comments thrown Dean's way and he would always act unfazed and order both men to go cool off. And even after that Dean would go and talk to both parties, making sure all was settled before backing off.

Dean was the glue that held their family together. If he…if he didn't come back to them, Sam knew they would fall apart.

--

John could only remember one time he felt this _terrible_: when Dean had first been kidnapped. He could remember feeling how it was his entire fault. He'd been the one to send his boys on that hunt _alone_. "It's a simple one." He had said, "Should only take a day or two." Man had he been fucking _wrong_. He told his sons it was just an angry spirit. Quick salt and burn. No big deal. Right? _Wrong_. Turns out it was a trap set by some demons. They got his son, his _boy_ because of his mistake.

As he sat in the plastic chair in the hospital waiting room he couldn't help but feel like crying. He had failed him. He had failed his eldest son. He'd spent too much time fighting with Sam and trying to feel like he was _doing_ something even if what he was doing had nothing to do with finding Dean. If he'd spent all his time trying to find Dean maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Dean would have been _ok_.

Dean was always there. No matter when, where or how Dean was there. Even when Dean was a young little boy he would try to comfort his daddy. John would come back from a hunt, Mary already asleep with baby Sammy, and Dean would get up from where he'd been waiting for his dad. He'd help his daddy clean up or put things away. Hell, he'd just get cloths for his dad to change into if that was all he could do. And if John was deep in his tortured thoughts Dean would take his dad's hand and say "It'll be ok, daddy." And just because he heard it from his son he couldn't help but want to believe it. Even when he got older he would still do that. He could be in a hospital room and John would be sitting by his bed, trying not to cry and Dean would weakly take John's hand and say "It'll be ok, dad."

That was the thing about Dean, he never put himself or his needs first. He always put others, his family especially, first. They could be in the middle of a hunt and he could have blood gushing from his own head, arm and leg and he'd still force himself up to push one of them out of the way of a bullet. John could remember one time in particular when it had just been Dean and John. They had been fighting a rather nasty werewolf that wasn't giving up easy. John couldn't get a good shot at it, but then it ran full force at John. John barely had time to react before he felt someone tackle him from the side. The only explanation he was met with was the agonized scream of his oldest son as the wolf dug its claws into Dean's back. John had used all the bullets in his gun on that bastard.

And Dean's self-sacrificing wasn't limited to his physical well being. Even if it caused himself some emotional damage he'd do whatever he could to save his family. Especially when John and Sam would fight. John can remember more than one occasion where he'd said something terrible to his eldest when he'd step into the fight. And even when he and Sam would say cruel things Dean would still manage to get them to listen and stop fighting. Dean had always been better at playing referee than Mary, which is why when he was gone the family had been thrown into terrible turmoil. And even after John or Sam had said something terrible Dean would come and make sure they were ok after a fight. John can remember feeling so terrible when Dean would say "It's ok, dad. He knows you didn't mean what you were saying." And John would want so badly to say, "He's not the one I'm worried about, he _never_ takes me seriously. It's you I'm worried about, Dean! You!" But he would always be so riled up from the fight and he wouldn't want to back down so he'd never actually say it. John really wishes he'd said it now.

Dean was the glue that held their family together. If he died John knew they would fall apart.

--

Mary could only remember one time he felt this _terrible_: when Dean had first been kidnapped. She could remember feeling how it was her entire fault. She could remember how she just kept thinking she should have _never_ brought her baby boys into this life style. What kind of mother was she bringing her boys into this life?? Endangering them every day? To avenge her own mother? How selfish could she be?! Now her baby, her _Dean_ was in the back of an emergency room – as if he hadn't suffered _enough_ over the past two years! – because she was such a selfish woman.

As she sat in the plastic chair in the hospital waiting room she couldn't help but feel like crying. She had failed him. She'd failed her baby boy. Everyone saw her as the weak point in the Mighty Winchester Army, and that may not be totally off. Sure she was the weakest out of them all but she sure as _hell_ wasn't weak. If she ever got her hands on the yellow-eyed-_fucker_ she'd claw his yellow eyes out with her bare hands. No one messed with her baby and got away with it. _No one_.

Dean was always there. No matter when, where or how Dean was there. Even when he was a little boy and Mary would be at home worrying about John while he was off on some hunt Dean would come up to her and make her feel better any way he could. Whether it be to show her he'd taught little Sammy something new, to say something encouraging, or just to get her mind off it with conversations about anything. He'd always make sure she was smiling and would force her to go to bed when he knew that John would be messed up when he got home. He was always looking out for his family, and Mary couldn't be happier that she'd raised such a wonderful young man.

That was the thing about Dean, he never put himself or his needs first. He always put others, his family especially, first. Mary had been told about and witnessed Dean's complete selflessness on more than one occasion. On almost every hunt he would do what he could to bring one of them from harms way, even – and usually – if that meant bringing himself into danger. That was the thing. He _didn't care_ about himself. The only thing he cared about was his family. And Mary's maternal instincts told her this is why he'd done this tonight. That was why he ran off to fight the demon himself. He did it to save his family, even if that meant getting himself killed. Mary loved her baby boy so much for being so selfless but at the same time she wanted to smack him for it.

And Dean's self-sacrificing wasn't limited to his physical well being. Even if it caused himself some emotional damage he'd do whatever he could to save his family. Especially when the boys fought. Mary always tried to step in but she never got through to them as Dean did. She would yell at them, beg them to stop. But they never listened. But not Dean. Dean would jump in-between the two men who were ready to kill each other. They would say cruel things to him and tell him to shove off, but he wouldn't let up until they backed off of each other. Even then he would go make sure they were ok. He'd talk to them both; reassure them both that the other still loved them. Then after he got through to them he'd come make sure Mary was ok. He'd comfort her and just say, "They're too alike, and sometimes their stubbornness gets in the way of their intelligence…well, what little they have, anyway." And Mary would laugh and kiss her son on the cheek. He was always trying to make sure everyone around him felt good, even if he himself was dying inside. All Mary wanted to do was hug her baby boy and make the pain go away with a kiss from mommy.

Dean was the glue that held their family together. If they lost their Dean, Mary knew they would fall apart.

--

Missouri watched the three Winchesters with a sad eye. She knew they were all thinking the same thing. That they were all blaming themselves and trying to prepare for the worst. Missouri herself could feel tears stinging her eyes. She had gotten close to Dean after everything that had happened to him. She felt bad that it took such a tragedy for her to get close to the boy. She had always teased him, but he truly was a good, selfless boy.

She watched his family continued to sit silently, thinking of their Dean. But all their heads shot up in unison when the doctor called:

"Family of Dean Eppes?"

--

_So, what didja think? More of a contemplative chapter than anything else…__And I know, Mary's section was a bit weak. Personally, my favorite was John's. I feel bad for making him such a dick in this story…__Anyway, please review and tell me what ya' think! Loved it or hated it, drop me a line!_

_-claire_

_PS: Anyone catch my Numb3rs shout out at the end? _


	16. Chapter 16: Bipolar Hospital Visits

**Voices in My Head**

**Chapter 16: Bi-polar Hospital Visits **

**Note**: And here we come to the final chapter. Thanks for sticking with me!! And all the medical shit was made up. So, excuse me on that.

--

All three Winchesters shot up and were at the doctor's side so fast, asking at once "How is he??" that on-lookers would have thought it rehearsed.

"He'll be all right, although the concussion he sustained is pretty severe. We got the swelling of his brain to go down and there shouldn't be much _noticeable_ lasting damage."

"Noticeable?" John practically growled.

"Yes, well, you see there's a very good chance your son will have problems with things such as speech – he may slur his words more often and such – or basic motor skills. And he'll be having nasty bouts of migraines, I'm sure. But all that…well, that's not really what I'm worried about."

"How can you not be worried about all that?" Sam snapped before he could stop himself, but was elbowed in the ribs by Mary.

"Well, that's not what I meant. Yes, that is all worrisome, but there's something else."

_Oh no_. Sam thought, feeling totally panicked. _A tumor? His heart? Oh crap! We just got him back! If something else tries to take him away—!_

"It's his brain activity." At that everyone froze. Oh _shit_. They hadn't even thought of that. "It's…well, every human only uses a small percentage of his or her brain. Your son, well, he's using at _least_ double the normal amount." All the Winchesters glanced at each other, all in one look agreeing they needed to play in dumb.

"Well, isn't that _good_?" Mary asked, "Doesn't that just mean he's really smart?"

"Well, I mean, it could. Einstein used more than the normal amount but your son's amount is much higher than Einstein's. This amount is worrisome. Too much brain activity can over-load the body. It can cause strokes or seizures." _We've seen Dean's mind over-load his body. _Sam thought again, _Mine too. Supernatural powers tend to do that to you._

"Are you sure your MRI isn't just broken?"

"We ran the test three times. That's what took so long." He paused, and added "Has your son, your brother, ever had a seizure before?"

"No." John took the initiative, knowing the others weren't the best liars. Besides, it wasn't a total lie. It wasn't really a seizure, just a demon trying – and failing – to posses him, which lead to his body shaking involuntarily…ok it was a seizure, but not a normal one, besides it was five years ago. The doctor didn't need to know about it.

The doctor looked shocked at this. "Never?" Again John shook his head. "I—wow, I'm shocked. Well, I can't really prescribe any anti-seizure meds if he hasn't had one yet. But if he has one you must bring him to a hospital immediately. With that much brain activity it could lead to a stroke."

"Can we just see him?" John interrupted. He was getting bored with all this. It didn't even matter. They knew what could and couldn't happen.

The doctor, a little perturbed by John's lack of caring about possible strokes his son could have, quickly said "Yes, room twelve-seven. Right down the hall. But um, family only."

It was in that instant that they all remember Missouri was there with them. They turned around to see her standing there was a soft smile on her face. "It's all right." She smiled "Go ahead, I'll wait here."

With nods of thanks, really for everything she'd done for them, they all turned and followed the doctor down the hall. "He's awake now, the nurses wanted to test him to see what damage the concussion caused, but he refused to do anything until he saw you." Identical grins passed across the faces of the family before they stopped in front of his door. "Just be prepared. He's sluggish, and remember the possible damage I spoke of." And with that, the doctor opened the door and left them.

Sam was the first one in. He looked and saw that the left side of Dean's head had been shaved, not on the top but just the side, and the shaved area was covered in gauze. Dean's eyes blinked open when he heard someone enter, and grinned lightly when he saw Sam.

"Hey you." Dean greeted, his words were slightly slurred, and Sam worried about the damage Dean could have to live with. "You ok, Sammy?" Dean asked as his little brother came up to the bed and placed his hand over Dean's IV-less hand.

"I'm fine, you idiot. You're the one who got your head slammed into a bark bench."

"Yea, I still remember that hard-head comment. You're not getting away with that."

Before Sam could respond Mary stomped in, obviously she'd been preparing herself out in the hall. John stood in the doorway, watching with a smile.

"Oh, my baby!" Mary all but screamed, as she rushed to Dean and threw herself over him in a strange hug. "Oh, baby, I was so worried about you!" She cried with loving tears. Before taking his shoulders, and though she resisted the urge to shake him, started to yell at him. "How could you ever think to do anything so _stupid_?! What were you thinking?! You wanted to protect us?! We all protect _each other_, Dean! We're a family! Promise me you won't do it again." When Dean didn't respond, but looked into her eyes with a smile on his lips she shook him a little. "Promise me!"

"I promise." Mary could swear he was laughing.

And again she hugged him. "I love you so much, Deany! I was so worried I'd lost you—again! Damnit, stop getting taken from me! What kind of mother am I??"

With a laughing smile, though he dare not laugh aloud, Dean patted his mother on the back with his IV tailing after. "Woah, mom. Calm down. I'm ok. Everything's gonna be ok." He kissed her on top of her head and she pulled back, obviously calmed a bit. She lovingly caressed his cheek and then kissed his forehead.

"You're giving me gray hairs, Dean. Before you know it I'm gonna be a decrepit, ugly old woman at the age of fifty-five!"

"Impossible, you're too damn pretty." He grinned at his mother.

"Oh Dean, always the charmer. Always have been."

There was a comfortable pause where no one said anything, and John pushed off the doorframe. "Well, now that the bi-polar part of our visit is over." He said stepping next to the bed. Sam and Dean laughed aloud, while Mary slapped her husband's arm with a tearful smile.

John looked down at his eldest son. Dean looked back up at him, wiping his smile from his face and preparing himself for the reprimand.

"What you did tonight was really reckless and stupid, son." Mary was about to cut in with 'John, maybe now's not the best time…' and Sam was ready to push his father out of the room if he yelled at Dean now. Dean kept his eyes locked with his fathers, taking the consequences like a good little solider. But the next words that came out of John's mouth shocked his family. "I'm so proud of you, son. You did real good tonight."

Dean's eyes widened, "Thanks, dad." He whispered bewilderedly. Both Sam and Mary could tell how much John's words touched Dean. It had always been that way. Dean always took John's word as the word of God. Almost never finding fault in his ways, and always doing what was asked of him and more. Whenever John complimented Dean it was like he was on a high for weeks following it.

"That scar's gonna look really, awesome, bud." John grinned, pointing to where the bandage covered the giant gash where his head hit the bench and where they opened his head up to stop the swelling.

"You're just jealous because I'm gonna have all the ladies with this new battle scar." He smiled up at his dad, the high setting in. _At this rate he won't need the drugs,_ Sam thought with a smile.

"He better not!" Mary glared at her husband, causing her three boys to break out into laughter.

After a moment Dean finally asked, "So when can I get out of here?"

"Oh no. No, no, no! You are NOT breaking out AMA this time, mister." Mary growled, "You've done it against my wishes a million times before and you are _not_ doing it again. You are going to _stay_ until the doctor says, maybe longer!" All three stared at her in bewildered shock. "I am _not_ losing him again!" Mary cried to her husband and younger son in explanation as the two broke into laughter.

"Damnit." Dean whispered, looking away. A timid looking nurse with a nametag that read Karen walked in, holding a small tray with a vial and a syringe on it.

"Am I interrupting?" She asked worriedly, obviously new to the patient-interaction thing.

"Not at all." Dean said, flashing the girl one of his famous smiles and with that the girl practically turned to goo on the spot.

"Oh, well, um, I was told you needed you IV updated. What they used during the surgery has to be wearing off." It was then they all examined Dean. His hands were in tight fists, his knuckles white. He was in pain? Goddamn Dean, what kind of family were they when they didn't even notice that??

Well, in their defense, Dean was a pretty good actor.

Once the nurse finished injecting the drugs into his IV she smiled at Dean and made her way to the door. "See ya' 'round, Kare." He smiled again, and she lingered at the door a moment too long before practically scurrying away.

"Dean, you disgust me." Sam said with a roll of his eyes, though he was still grinning.

"Pssh, you're just jealous that you can't do that with just a smile."

"Sam, don't egg on your brother. Dean, sleep. You really need your beauty rest." John cut into the brotherly banter.

"Pssh, you wish, old man. Did you not _see_ that nurse? She didn't want to leave!" He laughed, though his eyes were drooping now.

Mary slapped John on the arm, and scolded Sam from across the bed, before taking a step forward. She placed a soft, loving kiss on her son's forehead. "Sleep, sweetie. We'll be here when you wake up."

And with a soft smile on his lips, Dean did as told.

**--**

**The End**

--

**Epilogue**

--

Dean lifted his head from where he fell asleep over some books at Bobby's table. He glanced into the next room through the giant doorway and saw his parents, Bobby and Missouri discussing something playfully. _Leaving the younger people to the research? Geezers._ Dean thought with a mental laugh. He turned to his brother, who was across the table. "How long have I been asleep?"

"About an hour." Sam said, glancing up from the books he was reading about the Devil's prayer.

"Dude, why'd you let me fall asleep?"

"Because I'm an awesome little brother." Sam laughed at the glare his brother threw his way.

Dean subconsciously scratched at the giant scar on the left side of his head. The stitches were long gone, but the hair was only stubby over there, so his large scar was still very visible. The nurses were beyond confused and shocked that Dean had none of the suspected damage. In fact, he was perfectly fine besides the occasional migraines. When the doctors weren't around Dean claimed that his super-brain had healed itself. Sam had just rolled his eyes and their parents laughed. Yea, there was definitely no damage.

Sam reached across the table and slapped Dean's hand away before saying, "Besides, you know how those migraine pills knock you out. I couldn't have woken you up, anyway."

"Fucking pills." He mumbled sarcastically.

"Would you rather be in crippling agony?" Sam asked, just as sarcastic. Sam cringed slightly to himself as he said it, though. On more than one occasion over the past month and a half since Dean had gotten out of the hospital (two months since they'd had their run in with the YED) Dean's had one of those 'attacks'. He would just scrunched up in a ball on whatever soft surface he could find, whether it be a bed, a couch, the back seat of the car, or the floor (depending on what was the closest). He would just scrunch up and clutch his head, his eyes so tightly closed they ached afterwards. It was always difficult to get him to take his pills during an attack, so whenever Dean started to get a slight headache he had to take his pills before the ache worsened. Sam always _hated_ seeing him that way.

"Fucking park bench ruined my life." Dean growled to himself and Sam burst out laughing at that, unable to hold it back. The adults in the next room glanced at them and Dean glared as he pointed to the books on the table. Mary actually stuck her tongue out at her son before they continued their conversation. Although Missouri glared at Dean when he called them some nasty things in his head.

"C'mon, Dean." Sam said, still chuckling slightly. "We've got more research to do."

"Bastards never help." Dean said aloud, and Sam grinned when Missouri called 'You watch your mouth! Don't think I can't hear you!'

Ever since that night at the park they'd decided to do more research on the Devil's Prayer. When they discovered it was a great weakness to the YED they knew it was their best weapon. They hadn't found much more than they already knew yet. But they still knew a lot more than they did a year ago.

_Holy _shit_._ Sam thought to himself. _Has it seriously been a year since we got him back? It feels like so much longer! So much shit has happened…_Sam looked up at his brother. _God, he was so scared when we first found him. So unsure. Now he's back to his normal, smart-ass, I'm-win-at-life attitude Dean he remembered. He's been through so much in one year, and yet he still managed to keep our family together, right when we were _really_ about to fall apart. _

A smile played across Sam's lips now. _He really has kept us together. When he was taken three years ago the family would have _definitely_ broken apart had it not been for the fact we were searching for _Dean_. And when we finally got him back a year ago and he was so broken…even in that state, right when we were all about to break ourselves, he managed to keep us together. God, Dean, how do you do it…? _Sam wondered with a loving smile.

Dean finally looked up at Sam, "Dude, will you stop looking at me like that?! It's creepy!"

--

_**Story End Note:**__ Well, that's the end! Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me when I made you all wait for months at a time. Thanks even more to everyone who reviewed. You are all beyond amazing. I really hope you enjoyed the ending!_

_Thank you everyone!!_

_-claire_


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